Edward “Big Balls” Coristine—yes, that’s really what folks call him—found himself in the middle of a violent encounter this past weekend, and the tech world is paying attention.
Coristine, a teenage software engineer and former Neuralink intern, first rose to public attention as a standout figure in the Trump administration’s Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE). Though he left DOGE back in June, he recently returned to federal service to help overhaul the Social Security Administration’s aging website. According to a spokesman quoted by WIRED, he was brought back specifically to improve digital infrastructure. That’s the kind of thing he’s known for: using brilliant code to clean up old systems.
But early Sunday morning, around 3 a.m., things took a very different turn.
An Unprovoked Attack in Central D.C.
Coristine was in Washington’s Logan Circle with his girlfriend when a group of about 10 teens surrounded their car. The group reportedly made comments about stealing the vehicle. Before things escalated, Coristine pushed his girlfriend into the car to get her to safety—a split-second move that may have protected her from harm.
Photo by Benigno Hoyuela on Unsplash
Then he confronted the group.
That’s when they attacked him.
Thankfully, police arrived mid-incident, breaking up the assault. Two of the teens, both just 15 years old, have been charged with unarmed carjacking.
Online Response from Big Names
The incident didn’t stay local for long. Elon Musk posted praise for Coristine’s bravery on X. Meanwhile, former President Trump shared a graphic photo of Coristine’s injuries on Truth Social, using the image to call for a change in law: specifically, for teenagers as young as 14 to be prosecuted as adults in violent crimes.
Photo by Elliot Teo on Unsplash
Why It Matters
On its surface, this looks like a crime story—and it is. But it’s also a stark reminder of how public tech figures, especially young ones like Coristine, are navigating an entirely different landscape now. It’s not just about innovation anymore. It’s about visibility, vulnerability, and the risks tied to being a public figure—even if your job is building better government websites.
Coristine, barely out of his teens himself, has already worn more hats than most of us will in a lifetime: coder, federal employee, tech wunderkind, and now, unfortunately, victim.
While his physical injuries haven’t been officially detailed, the online response has turned what might’ve been a local police blotter incident into a flashpoint in a larger conversation about youth crime and justice.
We’ll be following what happens next, especially when it comes to both Coristine’s recovery and the public policy conversations that might follow.
Stay safe out there.
Keywords: Logan Circle, Edward Coristine, DOGE, carjacking, digital infrastructure, youth crime, Elon Musk, Donald Trump
